"Cajun Jokes"

Mais watch out cher, dat Boudreaux he watch you!

Cajun Jokes

#1 - Boudreaux & The Devil...
#2 - Pierre & Boudreaux Go Hunting...
#3 - Boudreaux In The Field...
#4 - Boudreaux & The Puzzle...
#5 - Close Encounters Of The Boudreaux Kind...
#6 - Boudreaux & The Pig...
#7 - Pierre & Boudreaux At The LSU Office...
#8 - Boudreaux & Clarence...
#9 - Pierre & Boudreaux Go Fishing...
#10 - Boudreaux & The Elevator...
#11 - Boudreaux & The Game Warden Go Fishing...
#12 - Boudreaux's Daughter's Engagement...
#13 - Clotile's Milk Bath...
#14 - Boudreaux & The Texan...
#15 - Boudreaux Goes To Hawaii...
#16 - The Hole in the Ground...
#17 - Boudreaux's Boat For Sale?...
#18 - The Outhouse...
#19 - The Fastest Thing In The World...
#20 - Mary Lou...
#21 - Boudreaux's Drunk Driving Incident...
#22 - The Texan & His Truck...
#23 - Flying Cajun Airlines...
#24 - Boudreaux's Speeding Ticket...
#25 - Clotile Goes To The Doctor...
#26 - When Boudreaux Was Courting Clotile...
#27 - Boudreaux & The Zookeepers...
#28 - The Pedro Game...
#29 - Boudreaux's Vasectomy...
#30 - Boudreaux's Death Notice...

#1 - Boudreaux & The Devil...

Boudreaux died and was on his way down to Hell. In anticipation, the Devil turned up the thermostat to make it extra warm for Boudreaux. When Boudreaux arrived, the Devil asked, "Hey Boudreaux, how do you like the heat down here?"

Boudreaux says, "Mais, it's just fine. It reminds me of Bayou PonPon in July."

That made the Devil mad. That night, he turned the thermostat up all the way it could go. Man it was hot! When Boudreaux woke up, the Devil asked him, "NOW how do you like it down here?"

Boudreaux says, "Mais, it's fine. It reminds me of August on Bayou Lafourche."

As you might expect, that made the Devil all the more mad. Well, that night, he turned the thermostat down all the way it could go! The whole place frosted over. Icicles started forming from the rafters. When Boudreaux woke up, the Devil asked him, "How you like it NOW, Boudreaux?"

Boudreaux, shivering, through blue lips, says, "Mais cher, I'm one happy Cajun!"

The Devil was infuriated! He yelled, "What do you mean you're one happy Cajun?!!"

Boudreaux, still shivering says,"The Saints done won the Superbowl!"

#2 - Pierre & Boudreaux go hunting...

Pierre and Boudreaux wanted to go hunting, but didn't have a place to hunt.

Pierre said, "The old farmer down the road is a friend of mine. He's so old, that he can't even get out into his fields anymore. I'll bet he would let us hunt there."

When they got there, Pierre told Boudreaux that he would go into the house, and ask for permission to hunt on the farmer's land. Pierre went into the house, and his friend, the old farmer said, "That's all right with me, but could I get you to do me a small favor in return?"

The farmer said, "Mud Bug, my old hunting dog is so old, he is in constant agony. I need to put him out if his misery, but I just don't have the heart. Before you take to my fields, could you please use your gun and do it for me? He's in the front yard, he's in so much pain, he can't even make it into the house any more."

Pierre said that he would help the old farmer, and went out into the yard, to tell Boudreaux that they could hunt there. As he was walking down the front steps, he got an idea for a joke that would scare Boudreaux. When Boudreaux said, "Did he tell us we could hunt on his land?", Pierre, for a joke, said, "No, that's the meanest old farmer I've EVER met -- I'll show HIM!!" Then he shot the old dog, and said, "That'll show him."

Boudreaux ran to the farmer's barn, and Pierre fell on the ground, laughing, because he scared Boudreaux enough to run away and hide. Suddenly, Pierre heard, "BLAM......BLAM." Then Boudreaux ran out of the barn, and shouted to Pierre, "O.K., I got the horse and cow... Now, let's get out of here."

#3 - Boudreaux In The Field...

Pierre looks out the window and sees Boudreaux standing out in his field.

Pierre tells his wife Marie, that he is worried about Boudreaux.

The next day he looks out his window and he sees Boudreaux still standing out in his field and tells Marie that he's really worried about Boudreaux.

The next day, he looks out and Boudreaux is still standing out in his field.

He says, "Marie, Boudreaux has lost his mind and I need to go help him!"

He walks over to Boudreaux and says, "What the hell are you doing Boudreaux?"

Boudreaux says, "I'm trying to win de Nobel Prize."

Pierre says, "Mais, how you plan to do dat?"

Boudreaux says, "I saw a show on TV and dey said if you want to win de Nobel Prize dat you have to be out standing in your field."

#4 - Boudreaux & The Puzzle...

One day Pierre went to Boudreaux's house and Boudreaux was working on a jigsaw puzzle.

A year later, Pierre again visits Boudreaux and Boudreaux is still working on the puzzle.

Another year after that, Pierre went to Boudreaux's to go fishing with him.

Boudreaux comes out of the house and says "Mais Pierre, I'm so proud of myself, I finally finished dat puzzle and it only took me two years!"

Pierre says "Mais, Boudreaux, I don't tink dat it should take you dat long!"

Boudreaux says "Mais, Pierre, I tink I did perty good when it says rite dere on the box -- 'Jigsaw Puzzle - 500 pieces - 6 to 12 years'!"  

#5 - Close Encounters Of The Boudreaux Kind...

Pierre and Boudreaux were on a weekend hunt when they witnessed a UFO landing.

As the little green creatures descended from the craft Pierre said: " Mais what's dat?" to which Boudreaux replied as he aimed his gun: "I don't know me, Pierre. But you better go back to de camp and put some rice on."

#6 - Boudreaux & The Pig...

Boudreaux was riding along the highway when a truck passes with some pigs in it.

One of the pigs falls out and Boudreaux stops to pick it up.

A while later, a state trooper stops and says "Boudreaux, what you doin with dat pig?"

Boudreaux says "A man passed by wid a truck full of pigs and dis one fell out. I was goin to try to catch up with de truck and give de man his pig back."

The state trooper says "Boudreaux, dat man is long gone, why don't you just take dat pig to de zoo?" Boudreaux said "OK".

A couple of days later, the state trooper sees Boudreaux on the highway with the pig still in his truck.

He stops Boudreaux and says "Didn't I tell you to bring dat pig to the zoo?"

Boudreaux says "Mais, yea, but we had so much fun at de zoo dat I tink we are gonna go to AstroWorld now!"

#7 - Pierre & Boudreaux At The LSU Office...

Pierre and Boudreaux found themselves out of a job when the underwear factory in Port Barre shut down. But their boss said they could go to the LSU office -- you know ... the Louisiana State Unemployment Office -- so that Pierre and Boudreaux could get some money from the State while out of a job. So Pierre and Boudreaux went to the LSU office.

As Pierre waited, Boudreaux sat down at a desk and was interviewed by the lady there.

"And what was your former occupation?" she asked.

"Me, I was a crotch stitcher. I specialized in ladies underpants." Boudreaux proudly replied.

So the lady looks it up in her big book and says, "OK, you're eligible for $50 a week."

"You mean I don't gotta do nothin' and I kin get $50 a week. Man, dats betta den crawfishin'!" Boudreaux shouted.

Then Pierre sat down and the lady asked him the same question.

Pierre looked her straight in the eye and said, "I was one a dem diesel fitters."

She looked up in her big book again and said "Very good then, you're eligible for $200 a week in unemployment benefits."

"Wait a minute!" Boudreaux shouted. "Mais, how come Pierre gets $200 a week, and me, I only get $50. I tole you I used to be a crotch stitcher; you know you gotta be real good to do dat kind of work so de seams are all nice an straight an smooth so nutting scratches de lady. An Pierre here, he's only a diesel fitter. And he's gonna make at least twice more dan me?!"

"Oh," the lady replied, "but he's a skilled laborer with an education. Diesel fitters are in high demand especially by oil fields and heavy equipment users. There's not many diesel specialists around."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady," Boudreaux continued, "you got dat all wrong. Yeah, Pierre's a diesel fitter, all right. But what dat means is dat after I do all de fine work on de lady drawers, he picks dem up, looks 'em over and stretches dem dis way and dat, and den says, 'Yep, dese'll fit her!'"

#8 - Boudreaux & Clarence...

Boudreaux lived across the bayou from Clarence, who Boudreaux did not like.

There was no bridge or other easy way to cross the bayou so the two would argue by yelling across the bayou.

Boudreaux would often yell across the bayou to Clarence, "Clarence, if I had a way to cross dat bayou, I would come beat you up!".

The threats continued for many years.

One day the state built a bridge across the Bayou.

Soon after the bridge was built, Boudreaux's wife, Clotile, says "Boudreaux, you've been talking about going across dat bayou to beat up Clarence all dese years. Now that they have dat bridge, what are you waiting for?"

So Boudreaux decided it was time to go see Clarence, so he started walking down to the bridge.

Just as he was getting ready to cross the bridge, he looks up at the sign on the bridge, reads it, and goes back home.

When Boudreaux gets home, Clotile asks "Mais, Boudreaux, did you go beat up Clarence?"

Boudreaux said, "Mais no Clotile, dat sign on dat bridge says 'Clearance 13 feet 3 inches'. Mais, Clotile, Clarence don't look dat big from across de bayou!"

#9 - Pierre & Boudreaux Go Fishing...

Pierre and Boudreaux went fishing in Pierre's boat but were not doing very good.

They came across Alphonse in a boat loaded with fish. Pierre asked Alphonse what his secret was. Alphonse said, "Jes go out through that pass over dere until the water gets fresh. Stop dere and drop yer line."

All excited, Pierre fired up the motor and headed through the pass.

When they got a little ways out, he told Boudreaux to fill up a bucket and taste the water. Boudreaux complied and said, "It's still salty, Pierre!"

Pierre went further out and told Boudreaux to taste the water again. Boudreaux said the same thing, "It's still salty, Pierre!"

This went on for hours and it was starting to get dark, and they were in the middle of nowhere, when Pierre said to taste the water one last time. Boudreaux replied, "But Pierre, there's no more water in the bucket!"

#10 - Boudreaux & The Elevator...

One day Boudreaux, his wife Clotile, and Boudreaux's friend, Pierre went to the city.

While Clotile went shopping, Boudreaux & Pierre decided to go check out one of them tall buildings. Inside the building, Boudreaux & Pierre came to these big golden doors.

Boudreaux says,"Wonda wot dees doors lead to?". So Boudreaux & Pierre stare at the doors for a few minutes until an old woman comes up to the doors. She pushes a button near the door, the doors open, she goes inside, & the doors close.

Boudreaux & Pierre watch as numbers above the door start to change from "1" to "2" to "3", then the numbers stop a while then change again from "3" to "2" to "1". Then the doors open and a beautiful young voluptuous woman walks out!

Boudreaux tells Pierre, "Mais you saw dat!? Hurry up--lets go find Clotile so we can put her in dere!"

#11 - Boudreaux & The Game Warden Go Fishing...

This Louisiana game warden had been keeping an eye on the fishing docks, when after about a week he noticed that Boudreaux had been coming back every day with a boat full of fish. One day he starts to talk to Boudreaux as he's pulling his boat in. The warden says,'Boudreaux, I been watchin you. I notice every day dat you been comin' in wid a full load of fish. You must be havin some good luck? Eh?" Boudreaux answers, "May yah, dem fish is easy to catch." The game warden replies, "Well listen. I got me a day off comin next Saturday. I was wondring, maybe I could go an fish wid you?" Boudreaux replies, "May dat be no problem. Jus make shore you be here at dat 6 a.m. sharp. Cause I gonna leave dis dock wid or widout you." "May I'll be here, don't chu worry none about dat" answers the warden.

Saturday comes and the game warden is waiting at the dock when Boudreaux pulls up and puts his boat in the water. The game warden gets in and Boudreaux proceeds to drive the boat out to the middle of the lake. At this point, Boudreaux shuts off the engine and lets the boat glide to a stop. The game warden, who'd been curious anyway, says to Boudreaux, "May Boudreaux, I been lookin aroun dis boat, and I notice dat all you don brought was dis here ice-chest and dat little brown paper bag under your seat. May, you don't even got no fishin pole." Boudreaux answers, "May, dat be because dats all I need" And he proceeds to pull a stick of dynamite out of the brown paper bag, lights it, thows it in the water and watches it go boooom! All the fish in the area, being stunned, float to the top of the water.

The warden, by this time, can't believe his eyes. Half yelling, he says to Boudreaux, "May Boudreaux, I know we been knowin each udder for a long time, but man, you can't be doing dat, especially wid me being a game warden n all. May, dat's agin de law in a big way dat is." Boudreaux, without say a word, calmly reaches down into the bag (with the warden still rattling off), pulls out a stick, lights it, hands it to the warden and says, "You gonna talk, or you gonna fish?"

#12 - Boudreaux's Daughter's Engagement...

Boudreaux's daughter brings home her new fiance to meet Boudreaux & Clotile. After dinner, Clotile tells Boudreaux to find out about the young man. Boudreaux invites the fiancee to the back room for a drink.

"So what are your plans?" Boudreaux asks the young man.

"I am a scripture scholar." he replies.

"A scripture scholar. Hmmm," Boudreaux says, "Dats good, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in?"

"I will study," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us."

"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring?" asks Boudreaux.

"I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replies, "God will provide for us."

"And children?" asks Boudreaux. "How will you support de children?"

Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replies the financee.

The conversation proceeds like this, and each time Boudreaux questions, the young man insists that God will provide.

Later, Clotile asks Boudreaux, "Mais, how did it go, Boudreaux?"

Boudreaux answers Clotile by saying, "He has no job, and he has no plans, but the good news is ... he thinks I'm God."

#13 - Clotile's Milk Bath...

For Valentines Day Boudreaux wanted to get Clotile, his wife, a real surprise. She had been wanting a milk bath for a long time.

So Boudreaux told his friend Pierre, he say, "Pierre," he say, "I wanna give Clotile a milk bath for Valentine Day." He say, "Why don't you bring you cow over to da house and put me some milk in da battub."

And Pierre say, "Okay, Boudreaux," he say, "Dat milk, you want dat pasteurize?"

Boudreaux thought about it a while, then said, "No, just so it covers her belly, dat's all I want."

#14 - Boudreaux and The Texan...

Boudreaux once had a job as a taxicab driver in Baton Rouge.

One day, he picked up a Texan on his way to the airport. When they passed by the LSU football stadium, the Texan said "What's that?"

Boudreaux said, "Dat's Tiger Stadium."

The Texan said, "How long did it take y'all to build it?"

Boudreaux said, "Mais, about five years."

The Texan said, "Oh, we've got a bigger one in Austin that only took one year."

As they passed the state capitol, the Texan asked again, "What's that building?"

Boudreaux said, "Dat's the state capitol".

"And how long did it take y'all to build that?" Boudreaux said, "About three years."

The Texan said, "We've got one in Austin that only took six months."

Boudreaux had just about enough of this, you know. Then they drove past the Mississippi River Bridge.

The Texan said, "How long did it take y'all to build that bridge?"

Boudreaux said, "I don't know. It wasn't there this morning."

#15 - Boudreaux Goes To Hawaii...

Boudreaux goes to Hawaii on vacation.

Down at the pool, a fellow sits next to Boudreaux.

Boudreaux says "Hey, how you doing? My name is Boudreaux and I'm here on vacation. My house caught itself on fire and I got a little extra from the insurance company."

"Well that's interesting," responded the fellow "I'm here from California and my house flooded. I used the extra insurance money for this vacation."

"Mais dats good," said Boudreaux "but let me axe you one ting. How de hell did you start de flood?"  

#16 - The Hole In The Ground...

Boudreaux and Pierre were walking through the woods one day, when Boudreaux grabbed Pierre by the arm pulling him back. Boudreaux says, "Whooee, Pierre, look at dat big hole you almost stepped in!"

Pierre looks down into the hole, and says, "Whooee, Boudreaux, dat sure looks like a deep hole. I wonder how deep dat hole goes ?"

They find a rock, and throw it into the hole, listening to see how long it will take to hit the bottom. They don't hear anything. They find a bigger rock and repeat the process, but still don't hear it hit.

Pierre notices a railroad tie lying in the bushes, picks it up and throws it into the hole. While they are listening for the railroad tie to hit the bottom, a little billy goat comes running out of the bushes, runs right between them and jumps into the hole.

A few minutes later, their friend, Thibodaux comes walking through the bushes. Boudreaux says, "Hey Thibodaux, what you doin' way out here in de woods?"

Thibodaux answers, "Well I'm out here looking for my little billy goat."

Pierre says, "You want to hear sometin funny, Thibodaux? The strangest ting just happend. A little billy goat just came running out dem bushes, and jumped right in dat deep hole right dere."

Thibodaux says, "Oh dat couldn't have been my billy goat. My goat was tied to a railroad tie back in dose bushes!"  

#17 - Boudreaux's Boat For Sale?...

One day, Boudreaux had a sign in his yard that read "Boat for Sale."

Pierre came by and said, "Boudreaux ... tell me sometin ... why you got dat sign in dat yard dat say 'Boat for Sale'? Mais, you ain't got no boat!"

Boudreaux replied "Mais no I don't got no boat, but see my car over dare by dat sign?"

Pierre responded "Mais yeah I see dat car."

Boudreaux then said "And see my trailor over dare by dat sign?"

Pierre said "Mais yeah I see dat trailor." Boudreaux said "Mais Pierre, dey boat for sale, wats de matter wid you!"  

#18 - The Outhouse...

When Boudreaux was a little boy he was called "Tee-Boudreaux".

"Tee Boudreaux" lived with his family in a house with no indoor plumbing. Instead they had an outhouse out in the back of the house. His dad, Papa Boudreaux, wanted the best he could get for the Boudreaux family. So they had a "two holer" outhouse so that two people could "go" at the same time.

One day Tee-Boudreaux and Papa Boudreaux were both in the outhouse when Tee-Boudreaux saw his Papa accidentally drop a quarter into the hole.

Tee-Boudreaux noticed his Papa thinking about something a while then reach into his pocket, pull out a dollar bill, and drop it into the hole where the quarter had gone.

Tee-Boudreaux saw this and said, "Mais, Papa what you dropped dat dollar bill into dat hole for?!".

Papa Boudreaux said, "May Tee-Boudreaux, I didn't have de heart do send you down dere for just a quarter!"  

#19 - The Fastest Thing In The World...

One day Boudreaux, his wife Clotile, Boudreaux's friend Pierre, and Pierre's wife Marie were talking. Clotile asked "Mais y'all, wat you tink is the most fastest ting in de world, huh?"

Pierre says, "Mais, Clotile, the fastest ting in the world is to tink a tought. Before you can tink a tought ... you've done tunk!"

Pierre's wife Marie thought about this some and she said "Mais, Pierre, I can tink of something faster den dat. I tink de fastest ting in the world is when you blink you eye. Before you can tink a tought, you've done blunked a blink."

After a while, Clotile says, "Mais I can tink of sometin faster den dat, I tink de fastest ting in de world is a light switch. When you flip dat switch, before you can tink a tought or before you blunk a blink, dat light comes on."

Boudreaux thinks about all this a while and says "Y'all are all wrong. De fastest ting in de world is diarrhea. One time I had dat diarrhea, and all of a sudden before I could tink, blink, or flip dat light on, I done messed in my pants! How bout dat?!"  

#20 - Mary Lou...

One day while Clotile was washing Boudreaux's clothes, she found a piece of paper in Boudreaux's pants pocket. She opens up the paper and it has the name "Mary Lou" written on it.

Clotile got real mad and stormed into the room where Boudreaux was and said, "Mais Boudreaux, you better explain to me who dis 'Mary Lou' is, rite now!"

Boudreaux said, "Mais Clotile, don't you go worryin bout dat. I went to de race track today and dat's the horse dat I bet on!"

Clotile thought about it some and said "OK, but don't you ever let me find out dat you been messin around with somebody else."

The next day the phone rang and Clotile answered it, after a while she hung up the phone and then went over to Boudreaux carrying a big iron skillet. Clotile hit Boudreaux on the side of the head with the skillet.

Boudreaux, rubbing his head, said "Clotile, mais what you done dat for?!"

Clotile said, "Mais, your horse just called!"  

#21 - Boudreaux's Drunk Driving Incident...

One night, Boudreaux was driving his pick-em-up truck out of the parking lot of his favorite bar, all drunk like. Boudreaux was weaving down the road, and a state trooper pulls Boudreaux's truck over to the side of the road.

The trooper says, "C'mon outa dere, Boudreaux, an' walk on de yeller line . . . Woo Boudreaux! You smell like de inside of de beer barrel!"

Boudreaux says, "You gonna see jus' how drunk I am. Walk on de yeller line? I'm gonna do you one better den dat! Watch dis!" And with that, ol' Boudreaux, jumps up on the top of a picket fence on the side of the road. DIK - DIK - DIK, Boudreaux walks along the top of the picket fence, like he is some kind of circus performer.

The trooper says, "Dat's pretty good, Boudreaux. Reckon you can get down now, an' drive your old self home. Stop messin' around on dat fence!"

Boudreaux says, "Man, you ain't see nutting yet!" Here it is, late at night, and Boudreaux takes a right hand turn off the picket fence onto the top of a barb wire fence, out along this pasture. BOING - BOING - BOING, Boudreaux hops along the barb wire fence.

While Boudreaux was hopping down the barb wire fence, he looks in the pasture and sees a big black Brangus bull with long handlebar horns. Boudreaux, looks at the bull, the bull paws the ground like he is ready to go for Boudreaux. Boudreaux jumps off the barb wire fence into the pasture, grabs the bull by the horns, shouting "Give it to me!"

The bull, goes this way, and Boudreaux went that way, and finally the the bull, got the better of Boudreaux, and flung Boudreaux out to the edge of a sugar cane field.

Boudreaux comes out of the cane field, all cut up from the sugar cane. Boudreaux staggers over to the barb wire fence, hops up on it, BOING - BOING - BOING, he hops back along the top of the barb wire fence, then DIK - DIK - DIK, he walks back along the top of the picket fence, back to the trooper.

Boudreaux says, "Lock me up, mister Trooper, I'm too drunk to drive!"

"Mais, Boudreaux, I just saw you walk along de top of dat picket fence and hop along de top of dat barb wire fence! I don't tink I could do dat myself. You go on home, now, you ol' fool."

Boudreaux says, "Lock me up ennyway. Any night dis ol' Boudreaux is too drunk to steal a bicycle from a black boy, Boudreaux is too drunk to drive!"

#22 - The Texan & His Truck...

One day, Boudreaux was sitting on his porch and a truck drove up to Boudreaux's house and a man stepped out.

The man introduced himself to Boudreaux, told Boudreaux that he was from Texas, and that he was getting some information about land in the area.

The Texan said, "Mr. Boudreaux, how much land do you have here where you live?"

Boudreaux said, "Mais, I have about two acres."

The Texan said, "That's not much land. Back in Texas where I'm from, it takes me just about all day to drive my truck down my driveway to my house."

Boudreaux thinks about what the Texan said for a while and then responds, "Yeah, I used to have a truck like dat."  

#23 - Flying Cajun Airlines...

Boudreaux and Pierre were flying Cajun Airlines. Pierre was flying da plane and Boudreaux was in da back foolin wit da cargo equipment an stuff.

Da plane hit some turbulence an started bouncing aroun' an Pierre got knock unconscience. Den da plane start driftin.

Boudreaux him come run up to da front an saw dat Pierre was sprawl out over da steerin wheel.

Well, Boudreaux don know nuttin bout flyin an he start to get panaky. He grab da microphone and holla "May Day! May Day! Dis is Cajun Air Line 10210. Pierre, him knock unconscence an I don know nutin about flyin dis plane!"

"Dis is da control tower," someone answer. "Don you worry bout nutin. We gona splain how fo you to land dis plane, step by step, ah gar-on-tee! Jus leave aryting ta us. Fus, how high are you an what's you position?"...

Boudreaux thought a minute, den say, "I'm five foot ten an I'm all da way to da front of da plane."

"No! No!", answer da tower. "What's you altitude an where's you location?"

Boudreaux say, "Man, ah got a po attitude, an I'm from Thibodaux!"

"No! No! No!" came an exasperated voice. "Ah needs to know how many feet you got off da groun an how you plane's in relation to da airport!"

Boudreaux start to panic by dis time. He say, "Countin Pierre's an mine we got fo feet off da ground an I don bleve dis plane's related to you airport!"

A long pause --- "We needs to know who you next of kin is and where to send da flowers!"  

#24 - Boudreaux's Speeding Ticket...

One day Boudreaux was driving the car with Clotile in the passenger seat.

A policeman pulled Boudreaux's car over to the side of the road and the policeman came to the window of the car next to Boudreaux.

The policeman told Boudreaux that he was speeding and that he would have to give Boudreaux a speeding ticket.

Boudreaux tells the policeman that he was not speeding. Boudreaux then turns to Clotile and says, "Mais, Clotile you was watching me. Tell de officer if dats true dat I was speeding!"

Clotile turns to the officer and says, "Mais officer, I can't tell you whether my husband was speeding because I don't pay attention to him when he's drunk!".  

#25 - Clotile Goes To The Doctor...

One day Clotile went to the doctor and she told the doctor "Mais, doc, I got dis problem ... when me & Boudreaux make love one time, I'm cold ... den de next time we make love, I'm hot ... den de next time, I'm cold ... and it goes on like dat."

The doctor thought about this a minute and asked Clotile how often she and Boudreaux made love.

Clotile said, "Mais doc, I don't know why you ask me dat, but me and Boudreaux make love twice a year -- one time in June, den again in December, den again in June, den again in December!"  

#26 - When Boudreaux Was Courting Clotile...

One day when Boudreaux and Clotile were courting (before they got married), Boudreaux went to visit Clotile at her house.

Boudreaux and Clotile were sitting in the living room talking. Boudreaux was on his best behavior -- trying to make a good impression on Clotile.

When Clotile left the living room for a while, Boudreaux was looking around the room and noticed there was an old Hammond Organ in the corner. Boudreaux noticed that there was a fish bowl filled with water on top of the organ with something floating on the surface of the water. Boudreaux walked over to get a closer look and noticed that the object floating in the fish bowl was a condom. Puzzled, Boudreaux went back to his seat.

When Clotile returned to the living room, Boudreaux and Clotile continued their conversation -- but all the time Boudreaux kept thinking about that thing in the fish bowl.

After much of the evening passed, Boudreaux's curiosity got the best of him and he asked Clotile, "Mais, Clotile, whats dat ting doin in dat fish bowl up dere?"

Clotile replied, "Mais Boudreaux, let me tell you about dat. One day I was walking down de road down by de bayou and I found dat ting on de side of de road. Mais, you know I picked it up and brought it home. I read the writing on de package and it said 'For prevention of disease - put it on your organ and keep it wet.'. So I put it up dere and you know, Boudreaux it really works yea -- I haven't had a cold in over a year now!"

#27 - Boudreaux & The Zookeepers...

The Houston Zoo was transporting a large female gorilla to New Orleans' Audubon Zoo. Just outside of Lafayettte, the gorilla begins to go crazy, making it difficult to drive the transport truck.

The zookeepers realized that the gorilla was in heat and pulled off at the next exit to try to figure out what to do to calm the gorilla down.

One of the zookeepers suggested that they find someone to mate with her to hold her over until they could make it to New Orleans. Just then, ol' Boudreaux comes walking down the street toward the truck. The zookeeper approached Boudreaux and said, "Excuse me, sir, but I have a proposition for you. How about $50 to mate with that gorilla in the back of our truck?"

Boudreaux began to scratch his head and thought about the proposition for a minute. Boudreaux then said "I'll do it, but I got three requests."

The zookeepers asked what his requests were. Boudreaux replied, "First ... nobody gonna watch because it is kinda embarrasin. Second, don't tell my mama -- she's a good Catlick, goes to church every Sunday, and would not like to hear about dis."

The zookeepers then asked, "That's fine Boudreaux, but what is your third request?" Boudreaux hesitated a while then said, "Ummmm, can dis wait 'til Friday? Dat's when I get paid."

#28 - The Pedro Game...

Boudreaux & Clotile and Pierre & Marie, (two happily married couples) all decide to have a pedro game one night. So they all meet at Boudreaux & Clotile's house and begin playing cards. A couple of games later, Boudreaux decides he needs to go to the bathroom, so he goes. Then Marie decides to get more beer in the kitchen and she goes.

Remaining at the pedro table were Pierre and Clotile. Pierre, looking at Clotile (Boudreaux's wife) tells her (Clotile) that he thinks she looks good and that he would like nothing more than to "fool around" with her. Well, Clotile gives in and tells Pierre that it will cost him.

Pierre asks "how much?" Clotile says "$100.00".

Pierre tells her that that is too much, being he has no job. Then after a little while, Pierre agrees to pay her. They decide that he will go over the next morning while Boudreaux is at work.

So they finish their pedro game that night, and Pierre goes over to Boudreaux's house just after Boudreaux leaves for work (not to see Boudreaux, no!!) and he and Clotile spend the day together. He gets what he wants from Clotile and gives her the $100.00 then leaves.

A little while later Boudreaux comes home and asks Clotile if Pierre came by today. Clotile was shocked, but couldn't tell a lie to Boudreaux and says yes, Pierre did come by. Then Boudreaux asks if Pierre gave her $100.00. Clotile replies yes while hesitating. Boudreaux says, that good ole friend of mine, Pierre; I knew I could count on him. This morning he came by work and borrowed $100.00 and said he'd have it back by 5:00 PM.

#29 - Boudreaux's Vasectomy...

After having their 10th child, Boudreaux and Clotile decided that that was enough. So Boudreaux went to the doctor and told the doctor that he and Clotile didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told Boudreaux that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem.

The doctor told Boudreaux that he was to go home, get a cherry bomb, light the fuse, put the cherry bomb in a can, then hold the can up to his ear, and count to 10.

Boudreaux said to the doctor "I may not be the smartest man, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a can next to my ear is going to help us not have any more children." So Boudreaux and Clotile drove to Texas to get a second opinion.

The Texas doctor was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he figured out who he was dealing with. So, the doctor told Boudreaux to go home and get a cherry bomb, light the fuse, place the cherry bomb in a tin can, hold it next to his ear, and count to 10.

Figuring that both doctors couldn't be wrong, Boudreaux went home, got a cherry bomb, lit the fuse, and put the cherry bomb in a can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count on his fingers, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5..." at which point he paused, placed the can between his legs, and resumed his counting with the fingers on his other hand.

#30 - Boudreaux's Death Notice...

Boudreaux's wife, Clotile, went to the local newspaper and said she wanted to put in the Obituary Column that Boudreaux died.

The editor said that it would be $1.00 per word. Clotile said, "Here's $2.00 - just put 'BOUDREAUX DIED'."

The editor said, "Mrs. Boudreaux, surely you want more dan dat."

Clotile said, "Mais, no, just 'BOUDREAUX DIED'."

The editor said, "Well, Mrs. Boudreaux, I know you're a little upset. Bring yourself back tomorrow and you will probably tink of somethin else."

Clotile came back the next day, and said, "Yeh, I taught of somethin else, put 'BOUDREAUX DIED, BOAT FOR SALE'."


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